Not quite sure my use of the word battle on a post-memorial day is appropriate but whatever. I took a pill at 9:3opm in an attempt to call it an early night. For me early is 11pm and well hey, it’s 11pm-ish now.
So what did I do during this 90 minute transitional coma? What I do best while blurry eyes and a randomly loopy: client work. Yay! Go me. I’m probably what we call a functional junkie. Good to know should I happen to fall into a crack addition phase.
Around the 10 minute mark, and to my surprise, the medication starting kicking in. Generally I would give myself 90 minutes b/c it would take a while to kick in. Not tonight. Just my luck. So yes, updating work madness ensues.
I’ve done client work on no sleep, half a bottle of wine and others which shall remain nameless. So why now Lunesta is giving me such a hard time is beyond me. I mean really. It’s a tiny small blue pill. It’s not like those vitamins sized to neutralize a horse. It’s a simple lil pill designed to make us go to lala land.
Sadly though, I’ve come to realize lala land involves a personal life that I can’t seem to shake. At 11:15pm, why am I trying to rationalize one for another.
There’s additction #1: Work.
I call it being passionate or an enthusiast. Others have not-so-funny choice words for it. This commitment to my goals (2+ for me) is now manifesting not-so-cool symptoms like insomnia and perfectionism. Boo hoo. Now what. Ah prescription medication to the rescue and even with that I fight it off.
How deep does self-sabotage really go??