Act With Integrity

Lately, I’ve been having conversations with a tone of friction.

What I would consider “snapping” is the built-up frustration of allowing others to say whatever they please without consequence.

While I am a devout advocate for self-expression, I have a hard line when someone’s “opinion” is rooted in judgment and shaming.

I’m better at advocating for others than I am for myself and my hesitance to show up for myself is a source of my anxiety.

I’ll receive a text or participate in a conversation that doesn’t sit well with my soul and remain silent. It’s not a good feeling, and I wind up turning that resentment inward.

I also tend to lash out after allowing my anger to build up quietly.

This week was no different.

The growth I’ve been experiencing myself over the past few years has resulted in a shortened tolerance for judgmental statements about people’s mental health, economic standing, and resistance to labor exploitation.

The more I learn about my own disabilities and how they impact my daily life, the more I realize how resistant we are to identifying as an “other,” especially when that label comes with stigmatization and abandonment of care.

I don’t know how I feel about the term “invisible” disabilities because while you may not see them, I live with them.

They’re invisible to the world but not to me.

And because they are very visible to me, they reflect in the relationships I have with the people I care about, so in essence, it is also visible to them.

In reflecting on myself and how I’ve come to be, I work hard to stay grounded with integrity, a term that has been relentlessly showing up throughout my awakening.

Recently I worked a gig where I was interacting with other professionals outside of my industry. I saw how he hyped up a potential vendor, asking questions and giving the impression he would switch to their services. They exchanged information, and he was convincing about considering their new offering.

I was impressed. He gave the pretense that all of the money they spent marketing was successful because here he was ready to explore their new brand and business.

Less than 30 minutes later, I overheard his conversation with his colleague, where he gossiped about the new vendor and explained how he would not invest in them because he was more than happy with his current vendor.

After convincing the new vendor he was interested, it was all a ruse, and I was disgusted. Not only did I judge him for lying to the new marketing team of that vendor, but I also realized how I second-guessed everything he ever told me.

How much of it was a lie, and to what purpose?

Integrity keeps showing up for me because it’s a core value that I aim to integrate with my brand and business.

Even when that means saying no to a potential client.

Even when that means saying something offensive to a family elder.

Even when that means treating “others” with the respect that is lacking from the collective world at large.

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