Nuance Shouldn’t Be This Complicated
I have to be mindful of what I share online because my students might read it and yet I teach about being authentically you.
I have to censor my voice because someone will read how I really feel and yet I advocate being unapologetic.
There’s imposter syndrome and then there’s just feeling like a plain fraud.
How do I honor my audacity without compromising the comforts of conformity?
Nuance shouldn’t be this complicated.
Working in a high school is taking me back too being awkward and alone. I can always tell the students who float without being tethered in real relationships. I can spot the students who walk around looking like they’re ok when they’re not.
The memories of my adolescent are being relived through the mid-life lens complete with petty beefs and egos. As much as I pride myself on being a strategist, those default settings are not sustainable in a place where unhealed individuals hold power.
I’ve got new tattoos. I’m reinventing my presence. I have a newfound purpose complete with self-inflicted heartbreak. I have a new spark and the fear of losing it makes me realize that strategy is no longer sustainable.
Shifting from strategist to storyteller is not only necessary for my growth but also required for my well-being. I’m finally learning that I can’t scheme my way out of sadness.
I won’t ever be perfect enough to feel worthy.
My legacy isn’t about moves. It should be about experience and memories.
While strategy got me this far, storytelling will move me to a place of love.