Giving Myself Space to Free Write Without Expectations
In many ways, I’ve lost my voice and replaced it with a new bravado attitude where I believe I deserve balance with my hustle + life.
I find ways of introducing overwhelm into my daily life and it’s how I honor the inner chaos that has come to define my existence.
I don’t know how to be at peace and so I create opportunities to make it as elusive as success and love.
I talk my ass off all day every day which is how I justify being MIA with my musings. I feel that if I speak my thoughts out loud, then I don’t need to share them with the world.
Right now, a transfer high school is my world and any rants are reserved for my therapist.
But my inner world doesn’t stop moving. My inner dialogue has evolved and still feels alone. My inner critic is in rehab and she is trying her hand at healing. I want to write without compromising my daydreams and I don’t know how to create space where delulu and reality can co-exist.
I’ve gotten accustomed to breaking my own heart. I know I’ve taken several steps back but I made a deal with my trauma and sold my soul for a life living in purpose.
Maybe that’s the new chapter of my adventure: finding a way to have it all – peace, healing, and passion.
My not-so-random musings create pockets of clarity that even I can’t deny. Maybe in a few months, I’ll muster the words to articulate my next book.