Day 13

Sundays are becoming my cheat day, and not in a good way. Despite mother nature making me moody this weekend, my moment of weakness was actually a well thought out moment of complete cowardice.

Maybe I’m a tad bit too harsh but the truth is not gentle nor forgiving of what is real.

Last week it was pizza which did me in and today it was ice cream. And while my weakness is not in these items, I feel that my issue is more in the fact that I was able to convince myself that it was acceptable.

Who writes the rules in pen anyways?

Life is about change. In fact, that is the only constant. So when it comes to rules, are they meant to be broken or simply rewritten?

We place these expectations on ourselves, in the hopes that some day we’ll live up to them. But when we don’t why is our toughest critic the voices in our heads? Often times these voices set us up for failure.

We’ll place unrealistic expectations of ourselves, possibly with the knowledge that we’ll disappoint, just so we can have an illusion of perfection.

I’m trying to reconcile the fact that I was not only ok with the fact that I was breaking my goal but that I justified it with an irrational excuse, one which was not only of convenience but of complete disregard for my feeling of accomplishment.

When the end of the month comes and goes, I’ll be left with 2 asterisks, leaving me to wonder if it was even wise of me to consider playing the game in the first place.