I was really hoping I can see the lunar eclipse but it’s not visible in North America so…oh well.
That doesn’t mean I won’t be feeling the effects. I’ve been feeling it for a while.
The last time the moon was in Pisces was back in March, right on my birthday. It was a solar eclipse and we couldn’t see that here either. My lesson today is rooted in the word “Faith” which is believing in the things you cannot see.
Over the past 6 months…
- I’ve left an emotionally and mentally toxic work environment,
- spent a month in Miami,
- went road trippin’ by my lonesome,
- launched My Sacred Brand,
shut down“evolved” My Sacred Brand,
- designed and printed an oracle deck,
- sent those oracle decks to some awesome people around the world (literally! Hello Australia, UK, Switzerland and Canada!),
- reconnected with my brand voice,
- broke up with some clients,
- got on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills,
- got off those anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills,
- reignited my jewelry making skills,
- got into photography,
- created a design course,
- joined a mastermind,
- connected with new digital peeps,
- plotted the gameplan for podcasting and,
- if I’m feeling up to it, recorded my first video.
Along the way I rode the wave of emotional highs and lows. I’m still learning to thinking before I speak online. I completely stopped engaging in political conversations and social commentaries. I also think I complain less but you’d have to ask the people around me.
Through it all, I’ve learned a lot about myself, more so than I’d ever imagine. I’m more attune to my own cycles and just now tracked that my monthly “woe is me” day might have been today. This is the day I feel like everything and everyone is set against me. I get super sensitive, super emotional and super defensive. By the time I’ve done a self-check into my moods, some of the damage is already done.
Today I’m a little bit ahead of the curve and recognized that I need to be in a bubble, huddled in fetal position looping vintage Adele songs. FWIW, 19 will always be my favorite album!
So I’ve got 6 lessons for the last 6 months in my devout sun sign of Pisces. Here’s to swimming in opposite directions!
Lesson #1: I’m Emotional AF.
This was the first lesson that I’m willing to honor and accept. I’m moody and emotional. Anyone who’s known me for more than 5 minutes will likely roll their eyes with an eternal “DUH” speech bubble perched above their head like in the comics. I wouldn’t say I was in denial. I was ignoring the fact that it affects my everyday moments and interactions.
You see, my rising sign is Aquarius, the aloof care-free water bearer who’s weird, quirky and emotionally disconnected. It’s not that they don’t have emotions, it’s just that they don’t drown themselves and everyone around them with feelings.
So this Pisces Sun / Aquarius Rising chica has some karmic relationship with her emotional self. These past 6 months brought those issues to the surface.
Only this time I feel like I’m evolved enough to address them like an adult and own up to my emotionality.
Lesson #2: I Need a Friendship Audit.
And I’m doing that this weekend! I think it was when I turned 30 that I saw a shift in how I regarded those around me. I tend to think most people are genuine and I’m horrible at reading people’s energy unless I know more about that.
As an entrepreneur, the line between colleague and friend gets blurry real quick.
As a designer and tech geek, the line between colleague, friend and support staff is also really blurry.
I did a quick audit today, or rather a final assessment since I’ve been checking people for the past few weeks, and realized the people in my life fall into one of 3 categories.
Real friends, as in we talk about things and you know stuff like my fav color and when my b-day is WITHOUT needing a FB reminder. Real friends hit me up when there’s a new casting for the Walking Dead or to make plans to hang out, like IN REAL LIFE. Real friends can hold a conversation that’s not work, career or entrepreneurial related for more than an hour.
Entrepreneurial friends, as in we talk shop all the time and we share resources to help uplift the other. Entrepreneurial friends hit me up when there’s a new platform, industry gossip and trending topics so we can go laugh together at all the memes.
Entrepreneurial friends recognize our relationship is a two-way street and while things may not fall too much into the personal arena, there’s still an equal balance and respect for each other’s expertise and time.
Others who identify themselves as friends but not really. These are the people who don’t honor who I am or what I do. They generally try to stay connected just in case they need something like their website updated or to get free labor and advice.
These are the people who come out of nowhere, often during a Mercury Retrograde cycle, act like we’re BFF’s and then bounce once they’ve got their needs met.
Honestly, I can’t fault Mercury Retrograde for this one since many of them have been mooching off the kindness of my mental and professional generosity. I have issues with boundaries and that’s something I’m actively addressing with myself.
Then there’s few who also pose as real friends but lead the lynching committee when you’re out trying to figure life out. There’s really only a few of these vampires lurking in my circle and I finally compiled enough garlic to rid them from my space.
Lesson #3: I’m a Maker.
I’ve always had a spark of creativity that I never fully realized for myself. I was always helping others with their projects and their creative pursuits. If 2016 has a title then it would be called” my quirky creative soul.”
Seriously, I’ve done more creative expression in the past 6 months than I’ve done in the past 6 years. And I like it! I like it a lot. I’m not creating what people want. I’m creating what I WANT and if others dig it too, then great.
If not, at least I’ll be enjoying what I make and having a blast in the process.
Lesson #4: I Really Don’t Give AF.
I’m a gypsy geek. My nature is nomadic and I feel like a care-free soul. Someone told me to be careful using the word “GYPSY” because it’s not well received by some cultures and places. The same can be said for a lot of things. The older I get, the more I adopt the DILLIGAF mentality.
I saw a video of some dude with his ass showing and bubble bee wings. He was rocking out in his own little world, on the 6 train, with people mocking him. And yet there he was without any fucks to give anyone.
Was he high? Maybe.
Does it really matter though? He didn’t care, so who are we to tell him that he can’t be happy.
There was a kid in the video and all the sanctimonious people got hot and bothered about what the kid was witnessing, as if watching a man dancing was the worst thing that kid is going to see on the NYC trains.
This would have been a great teachable moment to share with the child the importance of not letting anyone rain on your own parade. But that’s just me trying to find the lesson in any given situation. Go figure…
Lesson #5: Freedom is my Drug of Choice.
I’m not shackled up in some dungeon, although one might say that my limiting beliefs may be a form of emotional prison. When I say freedom I mean being out on the open road, going from one place to another. Maybe I just need my own car. I feel free when I’m road tripping for at least a few hours.
The drive from NJ to LA was pretty cathartic. There’s something about the car, having control of when and where you stop, seeing the open country and feeling the moving ground beneath you. I can go on local adventures and feel like I’m tapping into my wanderlusting spirit but it’s not the same.
I need to be immersive in whatever trips I take that remove me from the comforts of home and when I say home I mean NYC & NJ.
Lesson #6: If I’m Not Writing, I’m Not Breathing.
If I knew that writing would do more for my mental wellness that medication, therapy, alcohol or food – I’d been writing daily since I was in my 20s. Actually I used to do a lot of writing as a teenager and in my early 20s. Somewhere along the way I lost my voice and in essence, lost my way.
I’ve been writing in some capacity for clients so when I say writing, I mean my own reflective writing, like this post right here. I love playing with words and getting clever with saying something that might not be unique but giving it my own voice.
For me, writing is meditative.
It gives my inner demons a chance to speak up and tell the world that they’re not really demons after all. They’re just misunderstood little girls living within my shadow self and every once in a while, they need a hug.
In case you’re wondering what happened to the commenting section, well I’ve disabled it. Being able to write freely requires that I have a safe haven for doing so and that’s my digital casa.
So if you’d like to engage in a conversation, let’s do so on social media. That way if you’re genuine about having open conversations we can include a larger audience into the dialogue.
It’ll be great to have a spirited conversation with others who have similar experiences or want to see things from a different perspective.