It takes a lot to get me to lower my guard. Some people give up in trying. Others have the midas touch. I can’t say what mojo you need. It just happens. Part of it is timing especially given my moody state.
Last year I spoke at a friend’s conference and met a lady. She said she did life coaching and at the time, the word “life coach” was kryptonite. I didn’t process anything after that phrase because EVERYONE is a life coach now. I remember thinking to myself “OK whatever.” Nothing compelled me to be intrigued. I wasn’t moved to learn more.
Life coaching for my ego, at the time, was like garlic to a vampire.
And then it happened. My guard was down. I was open and receptive. I started looking around for a “life coach” as a substitute for therapy. Life coaching seemed less drastic to address my issues.
Destiny has a funny way of coming back around to you. I began work with the same lady who I had met at the conference earlier last year and that was the catalyst I needed to make strides towards the light.
Working with her changed me. That says a lot because there’s not many people who I allow to leave their mark in my life. I blame childhood issues. Nonetheless, she was awesome and working with her was divine intervention.
I didn’t need a shrink asking me about being constantly left alone as a child. I needed a practical approach so that I can come to realizations on my own terms and in my own time.
Meet Melissa Reyes, the life coach who sat with me as I got my butterfly tattoo in LA.
She was the unofficial muse who provided the madness intervention from my own darkness.
She blogs at mizmeliz.com
What do you love about your work as a life coach?
I get a charge from helping people. It’s not necessarily about me being personally responsible for changing their life for the better – I could never claim that. But I love when I see a change happen and I love being there to give a hand. It gives me a purpose. I love talking to people and seeing or sensing that they understand what I am talking about.
I feel like I am turning on the lamp posts along the road on their journey and helping them learn to trust themselves. The energy that comes from that is unlike anything else. Just thinking about it now gets my blood pumping. When I don’t have clients or friends that I am discussing life issues with, I feel lost.
If you could go back to your 16 year old self, what would you tell her?
Oh my God! Get over yourself. If you want something, ask. If you don’t understand, ask. If something isn’t clear, ask. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Don’t worry so much about what other people think. And for God’s sake – stop lying and trying to please everyone else,
Believe what your heart is telling you. It will get better. Oh, and get in the habit of exercise, I know you hate it – but if you keep it up you would be thanking yourself now.
What 3 words embody your personal brand?
I use these words as a focal point in everything that I do: Live. Be. Do.
LIVE in the moment and enjoy what life has to offer.
BE yourself and stand tall.
DO something, anything.
Take action and move. I would consider these things the keys to happiness and living a joyful life.
What is your favorite quote and why?
“Always believe in your soul, you’ve got the power to know, you’re indestructible. Always believe in because you are Gold.” – Gary Kemp, Spandau Ballet
This is one of my favorites that has stuck with me my whole life. It was my senior quote in high school. I say it to myself all the time. I am religious, so I think of it as God telling me how that I am unique and special and worthwhile, so don’t let things get to me. All I need is already in me, in my soul.
How do you find balance?
When things get tough, for whatever reason, I try to slow down and breathe. I usually day dream, but you could call it meditation. I think of my mother, stroking my hair and scratching my back as I would lay on her bed telling her all of my troubles.
I think of how I do this with my children and how comforting it is. I feel comforted. I get a sense that if I put whatever my problem is in perspective that things would look pretty good. I count my blessings and I change my tune.
When I get overwhelmed, I make lists and plan things on my calendar. When my relationships seem strained, I make a point to focus on the person (date night) or I un plug and give myself some time to do something just for me.
I manage a family of five, a home and three cats, and at work I manage a schedule for a busy executive and office, all of this on top of blogging and writing – so I do many things to stay balanced.
What advice would you give someone who wants to do what you do?
If someone wants to become a certified professional life coach, I would advise them to do some research and self work to determine exactly what type of coaching they are best at. It is not necessary to become certified to start a practice. But it helps to have a starting point.
If someone wants to achieve a life goal, I suggest setting a deadline and make public announcements and consider it a done deal. This is how I published my book. I made a commitment to myself.
What’s been the biggest life lesson you’ve had to learn?
I learned the hard way that my happiness depended solely on my own actions. Nothing that happened around me or that had to do with anyone or anything else could ever make me happy.
Once I committed myself to my true calling and put all the crap behind me, I was able to freely love myself and then it became easy to love all other persons and things that I accept into my life.
Being honest and open and true to my values (really true, not half-assed or secretive or selective, or manipulative) my life became joyful and light. I sleep well. I eat well. I love well. Because I am taking care of myself and I nurture my true being.
What was your favorite cartoon growing up and why?
I loved the Flintstones! I don’t know why. I watched a lot of cartoons.
What does a typical day look like for you?
I curse the clock every morning! I am not a morning person. I stay in bed as long as I possibly can. I can get dressed and be ready to go in 10 minutes. Then there is work from 7:30 – 4, where I devote myself to the lives of my kids and their school.
It’s social media non-stop, my phone is always pinging me with notifications and I try to navigate and keep up with Facebook, Twitter, Triberr, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, and more and many.
I write whenever I can, but always when the mood strikes me. Writing is the one thing that I do for myself and I try to do it on the most natural schedule possible.
I minimize the obligations and deadlines that are necessary. I do my best work under a little pressure. The posts that I wrote that went into my book took days to write. Some posts take minutes.
My husband does most of the cooking, errands, and “fetching”. He works from home, so he goes and gets groceries or dinner while I nap in the afternoon.
Our sons are pretty self sufficient. We are the taxi service for our youngest.
I watch a lot of TV. I like to watch the news. I enjoy some situation comedies, and then a good crime drama. Then the late news. And if I am not asleep by then, I fall asleep watching Jimmy Fallon.
And that’s my life. The weekends are for fun. I don’t clean house. I don’t go shopping. I love blogging events and going to the movies and out to dinner. Lately I have been going to conferences and doing a little travel.
It’s a good life.