Crowd-Sourcing My Audience to Combat Self Doubt

Self doubt.

These two words pierced through my heart. Hearing someone else call me out on my pattern was painful, yet not surprising.

I wear it on my sleeve.

I wear it on my digital persona. It stopped becoming a piece of clothing I put on every morning and is slowly making its way to becoming a tattoo on my body.

I have self doubt. No shit.

My inner committee bitches are rolling their eyes. It’s like you’re preaching to the choir.

I didn’t just get the memo, I wrote it and proofed like a good girl with OCD tendencies.

There’s no AHA moment. That shipped sailed somewhere in my 20s.¬†Self awareness comes with age so I’ve accepted this aspect of my personality.

It clouds my judgement on bad days and on good days it brings me back into a dark state of “uh oh” because good things don’t last when you doubt that they’re in your stars to begin with.

Self doubt. Yes. The things I would do for self-doubt.

If there was a support group I would gladly attend to collect my tokens.

I would sit in the front row and nod at all the sob stories of heartbreak and loss.

I would save a seat for my shadow so that together we can learn how to repair our dysfunctional relationship.

I would bring the coffee and cookies so that the self-doubters can bond over emotional eating binges.

I would be voted group leader because I’m a pro at deflection and when given an opportunity to focus on your doubts, I gladly take that reprieve to avoid mines.

This is where I’m at, using insomnia as an excuse to tackle self doubt. I missed the email that late night mental chatter is Kryptonite for self-love.

It’s the poison which keeps me from overcoming self doubt.

The inner night-owl is a spy for fear so when I’m up so late, what is really happening is that I become more and more engulfed in self doubt.

This is a cycle that I would totally medal at the Olympics, should self loathing become a sport.

You are looking at the body of self doubt: a mind full of noise and a soul full of anxiety.

Owning it means you have to admit that you just simply bought some heavy ass baggage. Ignoring it means you’re totally in denial.

So what’s a girl to do with all this self doubt?

Wish it away like a bad feeling?

Conquer it with magic like a bruja?

Tackle it with empowering affirmations like some hippy guru?

Suggestions are always welcomed and will be great appreciated.

Leave your words of wisdom below!