There’s that awkward pause in your day when you login to check out how some people are doing, only the find out that you’ve been ghosted by their profile avatar.
You let out a WTF gasp and internally scream “Have I been unfriended?”
Yes you have and the emotional yo-yo ride your ego is about to go on is a doozy.
I’m no stranger to unfriending people especially those who aren’t “aligned with my new enlightenment.” This is code for peeps who annoy me. I’ve also unfriended people who I just don’t want to associate with anymore.
My decisions are good enough for me yet once someone spins the same holier-than-you onto me, my anxieties are triggered and I brace myself for one hell of a “woe is me” pity party.
I’m doing the work and I know that people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime so it’s pretty disingenuous to not expect others to rid their digital closet of who they no longer want taking up space in their circles.
I get it.
In hindsight I totally get. However getting unfriended is a blow to one’s ego even if the blow is justified and in everyone’s best interest.
Here are some tips I’ve compiled to help you (and when I say “YOU” I really mean “ME”) get through the unfriending emotional clusterfuck.
1. Resist the urge to purge.
I’ll admit that I was re-evaluating who was in my circle and I thought about cleaning house too. I stopped myself because to do would be an emotionally driven decision and I’ve made a commitment to myself to not make rash decisions based on emotional bruises.
2. Find your cheerleaders.
There are people who will love what you’re doing no matter what. These are the people you want to keep around you for when the visiting team is kicking your ass.
3. Keep your eye on the big picture.
Don’t take it personal when you’re not personally invested. I have to remind myself that I use social media for my BRAND + BIZ. I’m an online entrepreneur and my “friends” list is really more like 10% real friends and 90% online “friends” who I want to market my brand + biz too. (Keeping it real folks!)
4. What people think of you is none of your business.
I often have to reflect on this quote because it reminds me that who I am is for me and not to fulfill some vision of what others expect. Some people we outgrow and there’s nothing bad about that. Some people also project their own ‘ish onto you and vice versa. Focus on what’s within your own control and best interest.
5. Out with the old + in with the new.
We go through people cycles. As we evolve our interests, desires and wants change. The same concept applies with people. We shouldn’t be the same person we were 20 years ago. I cringe when I hear someone say they haven’t changed. All I wanna do is grab them by the arms, shake and scream “WHY THE HELL NOT?!”
Everything unfolds as it must and having faith in your teachable moments is part of the journey. The next full moon, take some time to surrender who you are so that you can become a better version of yourself. I constantly strive for change even though I resist it at times. When we change we grow. When we grow we learn new things about ourselves. When we learn new things about ourselves we see the world in a different perspective.