Vicky Ayala

New Year, New Chapter – Saying Goodbye and Hello at the Same Time

It’s about that time of the year. We make resolutions for the new year and wait for magic to happen. I never quite bought that concept. Sure I’m a big believer in the “Secret” but what’s not told in the movie or book is the action that needs to accompany the “positive thinking” that we do. It’s not just about wishing for something. I cringe and roll my eyes at those who just say they’re “manifesting” without a concrete action plan. There has to be effort behind the intention or they’re just words on a paper, assuming they’re written down to begin with.

Each month, for the past few months, I’ve indulged in moon wishes. Does it work? Who knows. While I do believe in the power of intention, since I’ve seen it in play many times, I can’t help but credit my own efforts as the key factor in getting what I want.

Each month I lay goals for Left Right Brain Media, the brand under which I do all my design and consulting work. I love the name as it embodies the essence of my philosophy – using both sides of our brains to build brands. So it is with a sad heart that I decide to lay it to rest. LRBM (as I lazily call it when I don’t want to spell out the whole name) has been synonymous with my personal brand. It’s the umbrella upon which I was to do everything non-client related. And now it’s time to put it to bed. Although it won’t completely be shelved, it will become a backseat passenger on my journey.

I consider myself to be a pretty modest person. I don’t grandiose and I rarely brag. Tooting my own horn has never come easy and it’s not a confidence thing. I know I’m good at what I do, really good. I guess I’ve reached a point where I’m tired of being good. I want to be great. I’m at the point in my life, professionally and personally, where I need to reflect my strengths in a way that emphasized how great I am at what I can do. The problem is I had too many projects on my plate and I’ve come to understanding that I can’t be great if I’m settling for good at many different things.

Things that will change starting Februrary 1, 2012:

• I like doing websites but I don’t love it. I like doing it because I get to be creative and I like putting things together. But I don’t love it and if I’m committing my life to pursuing a passion I need to love it.

• I am a writer. I identify as a writer only thing is I don’t write, at least not the kind of writing I want to be doing. My sanity is balanced when I write. I like writing articles but I love writing stories and I have too many unfinished stories that need to told.

• I want to direct. I dabbled once and never looked back. I’m tired of waiting for something that won’t happen unless I make it. I’m a control freak and meticulous about details. I love storytelling and for these reasons I think directing would suit me well. It’s also a great excuse to finally pick up photography, a hobby I’ve been dying to get into.

• I need to leave my bubble. It’s safe and boring and I’m everything but that. ’nuff said.

• And finally, I am an entrepreneur. Not because I say I am but because I have startup that needs to, well, startup. And this leads me to OneStopIndustry.com. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my past failed attempts is that I need to fully commit if I’m going to see traction. I’ve never fully committed to the other websites I’ve tried to launch. I know the value of my capabilities and whenever I set a goal I reach it, but that’s only when I’m committed to the results. I look back at my entire trajectory, from 2001 until now. Somewhere I lost something. Don’t know if it was confidence or motivation or drive. Something changed and I can continue to wait for it to emerge or I can just move forward from where I’m at.

We don’t always get closure from the past and that’s ok. In saying goodbye to the things and people who no longer serve a purpose, I get to open a door and embrace new experiences that will help craft the new chapters. Life, for the most part, is unwritten. As a writer I can chose to write the new chapters or I can stare at blank pages and wonder why there’s no story. I’ve made my choice.

Now if I can only break the night-owl habit that’s so ingrained into who I am.